/me suddenly remembers.

Me: [prowls through Fiction/FAG - HIG at the library, stares at all the HAMs, does not find the Maltese Falcon; goes to computer; Maltese Falcon has a Dewey number and is therefore over in non-fiction; what the fuck?; go over there]
Darlene: Hey, girl.  You doin' okay?
Me: Yyyeah, how you?
Darlene: I'm jest fine, thank you.
Me: Gooood.
Darlene: You findin' everything?
Me: Ehhh, I can't believe I'm leaving with books, I have so much at home.
Darlene: Well, it just wouldn't be you if you didn't leave with things you didn't need, now would it?
Me: Ha!  True. [gazes at shelves]  Apparently I can't count.  [wanders around the corner; Lyn shows up]  Why are the classics in non-fiction?!
Lyn: I do not know.
Me: [goes over to where Darlene can be seen through the shelves]  Hey!  Why are the classics in non-fiction?!
Darlene: Weeelll, because most of the classics are non-fiction.
Me: ...  No they're not!  There's everything of Oscar Wilde's over there!  And Faulkner!  And I'm looking for Hammet, I'm /trying/ to find the Maltese Falcon...
Darlene: Maltese Falcon?  I saw it...  [comes around the shelf and locates it for me]
Me: Thanks!  But see, someone is going to think the Maltese Falcon is true!
Darlene: [smiles blankly and leaves]